Dear Control Freak,

Under the Greenwood Tree
3 min readNov 13, 2020

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You are going to be okay. I know you’d like everything to be just so, that way you could do something to shift the world in the direction you hope for it to go. The illusion of control gives you the feeling that you can shape the things you give a damn about.

Here’s the thing: you care. You care way too much, about way too many things. Inevitably when things go wrong, which they always do, you lose this illusion that you are in control. You care so much that you are willing to lose sleep over it. You care so much about the outcome that you drift away from the opportunity.

The bad news isn’t that you care. Caring is the good news. Caring is the fuel that drives progress and the quality of your work. The bad news, the worm that borrows its way through the fruits of your labour, is what you chose to care about.

CF, you will never manage to control the world. The point of self-reliance, of ownership, and of freedom is choice. You may not have control over what others do or the circumstances or the constraints that are placed on you; but you have the choice in how you respond. You have the choice of words and of acts.

You have the choice in the kind of person you want to become.

That is the only thing that matters. That is the only thing you should care about. What kind of person do you want to see in the mirror in the morning?

CF, I know you are scared. I know you have grand visions and dreams for yourself, for the world. I know you have high expectations. I know you care. However, the only way you can make the transition from fiction to non-fiction, from dream to reality, is one step at a time. One action at a time.

The more you practice these actions, the more you will come to realise that it does not matter what you do, what matter is how you do it. How you treat others. The gentleness and patience you apply to the process. The love you pour in. The compassion and kindness you allow yourself.

Your stature must stand for justice, for hope, for faith. Above all, you must accept and rejoice in the duty that life has bestowed upon you, although you cannot shape life, life will shape you.

Consider just how narrow and small the world would be if it perfectly reflected our shallow imaginations. We must remember that our minds have been washed to conform to should. Life is not bound by should.

So be still.

If you wish to win hearts and minds, and that is what it takes to materialise change, you must first start with your own heart and mind.

Let me ask you again, what kind of person do you want to see in the mirror in the morning?

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Under the Greenwood Tree

Personal development meets philosophy meets meditations meets lessons learnt from a professional over thinker.